Noodles.

I have this thing where I feel like I should be talking to someone
(other than myself)
when I write anything, specifically a blog.
So who on earth could I be talking to? I have quite a few options...
Typically I pick to talk to my best friend because honestly she's the only person I expect to read these...I could choose to talk to my mom, but that would make for a super depressing blog and I'm sure no one wants one of those.
I could even choose to be talking to myself but that gets really weird.

So best friend it is.

I'm starting over with this world.
I do things that seem exciting in the moment and last for a few moments more...
but then I go do something else and forget about what it was that was SO COOL just a little bit ago, so if I just stop writing a whole lot...
Too bad.
I don't write FOR anyone, despite the fact that I need to be talking TO someone when I write..I mean I write for myself, technically.
but I won't come back just because I'm asked.
I'm a little stubborn that way.
and maybe I have things to do. Or things to not be doing.

Anyways I want to talk about what I've been doing.
I've been thinking too much and too little.
It's been 4 months since my mom died and it still hurts.
I know it's going to, but what I didn't expect were all the moments when I wish she'd just call me, or when I want to ask my dad to hand her the phone so I can ask her some dumb question about cooking food or about my moneys.
I am very worried that I'm forgetting something.
Forgetting something simple, like butter, in a recipe; makes me freak out.
Not always visibly, and who else is looking but my husband?
It sucks.
There's nothing I can do about it either.
Nightwolf and I watched the movie 'Sucker Punch' the other day and reading all the reviews for it make me sad because I really loved it.
I understand that it's kinda weird, I mean it's chicks in skimpy outfits fighting dragons, robots and zombies basically...
but it's the idea, not the outfits that make it great. (to me, anyway)
I cried in the first 3 minutes because the girls mother died.
:/
and I have this irrational fear of being put into a mental institution
because really, think about it.
If someone calls you crazy and puts you in there; there's no way out.
If you say "I'm not crazy!" They think you're crazy.
If you say "Okay I'm crazy.." They think you're crazy.
If you just try to be yourself...they think you're crazy.
Okay, so maybe some people will actually act "Normal"
But I would totally get stuck there.
Because I act really weird sometimes and I say strange things.

Ugh. But I loved that movie. It was about women empowerment and it made me feel exactly how it was supposed to. I feel better having watched it.
Especially since I love to live inside my head with all my worlds.

Which is something I might end up revealing in my posts someday.


I quit for now. I'm hungry. :D